


The Game of Life

by karkatlovesme



Series: Blackblood, Noblood; Lowblood, Highblood [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Death, F/M, Fighting, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, I'm bad at tags :p, sadstuck in its own way?, travelling :p
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-19 19:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1481110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karkatlovesme/pseuds/karkatlovesme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demine Byrone; misunderstood, a runt, a mutant. The poor young troll just wants to be loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Demine

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm really excited about this new main character. It's kinda weird and a bit fast, but I think it's pretty good!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demine Byrone; misunderstood, a mutant, weird. Poor thing just wants love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling really good about this new one :3 I have so many ideas for it~  
> Enjoy!

“’Ciple! ‘Ciple! Look what Demine caught!”

I ran up to Disciple and held up my hands to her. She looked down at my palms and smiled warmly at the baby meowbeast wriggling around. It mewed softly and stared at her. Disciple ran her finger gently on its tabby fur, causing it vibrate slightly.

“It’s making a weird noise.” I tilted my head and set the tiny thing down.

“It’s purring.” Said Disciple. “Meowbeasts and even some trolls purr when they’re happy or content.”

“You know Demine’s a late bloomer.” Rosine whispered to Carmine. “Everyone knows meowbeasts purr.”

“Shut up!” I hissed. “Not everyone knows that!”

“Guys, it doesn’t matter.” Carmine said. “You know something or you don’t.”

“Exactly.” Disciple said while picking up the meowbeast. “Now go wash up kids, so you can eat.”

Rosine and Carmine ran out hurriedly with me walking after them. I paused and ran back in the house, picking up Carmine’s sickle before running after them.

“Wait up!” I cried out.

They reached the river before me and jumped into the water with their clothes on. I stopped at the edge and sat down, slipping my feet in the water, but not going in. A wind blew, rustling the leaves in the trees as well as my hair. Rosine splashed water at me and scoffed.

“You scary troll! Get in here and wash off or I’m eating your food!”

“Rosine!” Carmine frowned at her, but smiled at me. “Demine, just stand in the shallow part and you won’t have to swim.”

I nodded and took off my clothes slowly to stall. Carmine went back to playing with Rosine and I was blissfully left alone again. They swam further upstream as I walked on the bank downstream. There was the pool of water at the end and it only came up to my chest. I slipped in and panicked for a moment when the water came up to my neck, but then I calmed down as I moved around and found a space where the ground was higher. There, I washed in peace.

“Hey, why don’t you have horns?”

I glanced to my side and saw Ria, my friend that only I could see. She was a pink blooded troll with fins and really long hair. It was her fault I was scared of swimming.

“I was born this way Ria, you know that.” I said, focusing on scrubbing off the dirt from my ears. “That’s like me asking you about your gills.”

“They said ‘Hi’.”

I paused and looked down at my reflection in the water.

“Demine, don’t be sad. They love you lots. One day, you’ll even get to see them in person.” Ria grinned and scooped me up from the water, holding me in her arms. “But let’s wait until you’re older kiddo.”

“How old are you Ria?” I asked, looking up at her.

“When I died, I was 24 sweeps. I’ve lost count over the sweeps.” She smiled and ruffled my hornless head.

I yawned, not caring about the growling of my stomach. “Tell me a story about her.” I mumbled.

She stood up and picked up my clothes and Carmine’s sickle before heading back home.

“One night,” she began, “on the eleventh perigee of the second equinox, I was making my way to the city where the Grand Highblood himself lived. Rumor had it that there was a different kind of troll that lived there. She supposedly had black blood. Anyway, I was walking under the watchful eyes of our ancestors when I heard a scream. I ran over to the sound only to find a female troll laying on her back. She was unconscious and there were arrows in her! Glub, I was so worried that I took her into the nearest cave I could find and patched her up. She woke up a few days later and after that we were inseparable. We became moirails, and travelled everywhere together. . .”

While Ria was telling her story, I dozed off.

*          *         *         *

_The air was thick with the smell of smoke, burned flesh, and death. Trolls from all over were crying at the loss of a hero, of freedom. From far off, two spirits watched. The spirit of the hero, and the spirit of his matesprit. His matesprit was crying and he was doing everything he could to calm her. I walked over to where they stood and watched them. The hero just happened to look up and he saw me. All of the color in his face disappeared and he was about to say something, but then they faded out as if they were never there. So I kept walking and walking and walking. The land faded away into whiteness, but still I persisted. There was a pull in my chest, my soul, telling me to keep moving. I had to, whether I wanted to or not. “When I close my eyes, I see a world where we all work together.”_

*          *         *         *

I got up the next morning as if everything were normal. I did my exercises, I did my chores, and I cleaned my room. The spot where my horns should be throbbed all morning and Disciple never let me out of her sight. Rosine had kept up to her threat and ate my food last night while I was in bed with a high fever.

While I sat in front of the shack in the shade writing in my dream journal, Rosine was running around in the yard with the meowbeast hopping pitifully after her. It was boring when Disciple went out hunting with Carmine. I decided to get my revenge on Rosine with this opportune moment. Concentrating, I flared out my psionics, sliding a rock into her way. She immediately tripped over it and fell onto her face, crying when she hit the ground. I let her cry, continuing to write as if nothing happened. The truth is, no one knows about my psionics. I practiced using them when I’m alone, so I knew how to control them fairly well.

As she laid on the ground and continued to cry, the meowbeast trotted away back into the shack. Disciple came home and as soon as she saw her on the ground sniffling and cradling a broken nose pampered the brat. I left the house and hid away in the roots of a tree. The tree itself was huge and the roots were like a mini hive. It provided great protection from anyone bigger than me (which was everyone). Under here, I was safe from the outside world. I even had emergency supplies out here in case I decided to stay out her for a long time. Of course, Disciple would find me long before they ran out, so I never stayed away long.

“I guess I’ll just stay here today.” I said aloud.

It got boring after a while.

Time passed and it took a few stomach growls to realize I was drop dead starving. I wasn’t going to risk any of my rations though, so I and the hunger pangs sat it out. My legs were cramped from sitting in there too long, so I climbed out and stretched my muscles.

“Ugh, these brambles are so triggering! I feel so triggered right now it does not even make any sense!”

I looked around at the sudden sound of noise, and out of the woods comes Kankri Vantas. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

“What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be with Porrim?” I asked.

“I am sorry to trigger—“

“Don’t you dare say that word again or I’ll smack you.” I interrupted.

“ _Offend_ , but what does it matter to you? I am out exploring the woods. My adventure was halted by a bush of brambles, and it made me feel _so triggered_.”

“Porrim isn’t going to be happy, Kan.” I said, ignoring his word choice. “You need—“

“And what, may I ask, are you doing out here by yourself young sir?”

“I’m ‘out exploring the woods’.”

“That is very triggering Demine.”

“Trigger this.” I stuck my middle finger out at him and grinned at his reddened face.

“If I had my whistle I would blow it so hard that that grin of yours would fly right off Demine! Your obscene gestures are very rude and triggering to me. Why if I had a dime every time you have done that to me, I would be rich. You should really watch what you do with those hands of yours. You should also take into consideration my feelings and the things that are triggering to me as well as others.”

“Calm down Kankri! Take a deep breath and let it out.”

“Fine. Do you think we should invite the others in our daring escapade out into the wild?”

“Stop using big words! And if you mean invite others out here to play, then yes.” I grinned. “That includes Latula, Mituna, Meenah—“

“I do not mean to offend, but we can exclude Meenah. The last time we let her play with us, you went home with trident stabs in your side.”

“I agree.” I said, nodding. “And then there’s Meulin. That makes. . .” I paused to count on my fingers. “Five. Maybe we can invite Meenah this one time? We have an odd number, and there aren’t many games with odd trolls out.”

“Again, I do not mean to offend, but she is very unkind.” Kan protested. “Please reconsider, Demine.”

“Well, we could always take a vote.” I suggested.

“That would suffice.” He finally agreed. “Now, what shall—“

“KANNY!!”

We spun around to face Porrim’s angry figure, but the look of her caught me off-guard. I had never seen Kankri’s protector in person before, but now that I got to see her in jade clothing, I wanted to cry. The sudden feeling was foreign to me, and my tears just came out without any warning or restraint. Porrim looked so familiar.

Too familiar.

As she started to rant on about how much trouble he was in, I watched her. She did not have the grace and control that I had expected from her.

“Miss?” I asked hesitantly.

“Oh?” She seemed to just notice me and her whole demeanor changed. “I’m really sorry, but I have to take this nookwhiff back home. You should go home too little boy.”

Nookwhiff?

“My name is Demine.”

“Demine. Okay _Demine_ , go home to your lusus.” She grabbed Kankri’s arms and began walking away.

“I don’t have a lusus. I have a troll.” I replied.

She pretended not to hear me and hurried off with an oddly silent Kankri. I frowned and watched them go without another word, sinking down to the ground.

“I just wanted to play. . .”

 

 

 

 


	2. Powerless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start this note off by saying that there isn't any REAL violence. That's kinda more the next chapter (hahahahah). Also, I want to thank my irl friend (Brambles is what we'll call her). We were drawing the characters the other day and her picture of Demine gave me an idea of the necklace. You'll see. Thanks Brambles!!!

“Demine, can you get me some water? I’m feeling thirsty.”

I stayed by her side and used to my psionics to get her a small cup of water, stroking her hand gently.

“Yes, Disciple.” I murmured to her blind face.

The cup levitated into the room and rested on the counter. I picked it up and held the edge of it to her lips.

“Here, take it easy. I’m right here for you.”

She took tiny drops into her mouth, but no more. I set the cup back where it had landed and turned my full attention to her.

“Anything else?” I kept my voice low, afraid to make her go deaf as well.

“I need you to go get some sleep, Demine.”

“Disciple, you know I can’t. . .”

“I need you to, for me, my grub.”

“..Yes. I will.” I mumbled hesitantly.

Sluggishly, I stood up. Disciple made no move to stop me as I left the room and Carmine entered to take my place. Rosine was sitting by the door with our meowbeast in her lap. The little guy was doing his best to comfort her, but she was too morbid. She sensed me coming and looked up to meet my gaze. There was something in her purple tinted eyes that looked miserable, but it was quickly hidden away by anger.

I stood as she rose.

I stood as she ran over to me.

I stood as her fist came into contact with my cheek.

I fell when she began thrashing at me with blind fury.

There were small cuts across my cheek from where her rings dug into my skin, and they began to gather up drops of blood.

But no.

She wouldn’t let me off with just a few cuts and minor scrapes. She wasn’t going to let me go without giving me pain. The kind of pain that will never be enough. The tip of her boot came into contact with my stomach, my ribs, my face, but I didn’t feel it. Hot tears were escaping from her eyes now and slowly, she gave up and fell to her knees. She draped her body over mine and hugged me tightly. I didn’t hug her back. I didn’t do anything. I suffered in silence.

“I will break down the gates of heaven. A thousand angels stand waiting for me. Take my heart and I’ll lay down my weapon. Break my shackles to set me free. . .” She sang softly.

“I’ll run. . .” I whispered hoarsely.

That night, Disciple died.

*             *             *             *

“I’ve made up my mind.” Rosine announced the next morning.

Carmine and I glanced over at her, eating some pieces of fruit. Disciple’s death had affected her the most, and her face was strained and tired from the previous night. Her eyes were red and puffy as well.

“I’m going into that city, and I’m going to speak with the Grand Highblood.”

“He’s scary.” Mumbled Carmine. “Dude kills trolls for fun to paint his walls with their blood.”

“They’re the pictures of the Mirthful Messiahs only his bloodline can hear.” I snorted.

We both looked at Rosine at the same time questioningly.

“Don’t look at me that way guys! I was just wondering if maybe he would allow me to live in his good city. I am a Highblood after all.”

“You know what Disciple always said, ‘In this house, there is no such thing as a Highblood, Lowblood, or Midblood. We are all equal.’” I said, a flash of her actually saying it crossing my mind.

“Well, things are different now. You’re not preventing Carmine from going off into the war, so why can’t I go live the royal life? And since when did you become my lusus, _Demine_?”

“Gog, go ahead then!” I shouted, looking away.

“He’s only worried Rosy.” Carmine protested. “Let’s all calm down and eat. We apparently have a big day ahead of us.”

“I’m not hungry anymore.” I grumbled, leaving the table in a hurry.

“Demine!” He called fruitlessly as I slammed the door shut.

I took a deep breath and began to run into the woods, letting the rush of the wind in my ears distract me. The scenery became a blur as I kept running.

I didn’t want to stop.

I didn’t want the obliviousness to end.

_Demine Byrone. Running away_. _Why are you running, son?_

“Because I don’t have a moirail.”

_Demine Byrone. Running so fast. Glub, why are you running?_

“Because I can’t calm down!” I shouted.

_Demine Byrone. My dear wriggler. Why are you running?_

“Because,” I let out a small sob and slowly stopped in the middle of nowhere, dropping to my knees, “I’m all alone now.”

*             *             *             *

“I don’t think I can go back now, Meulin.”

“Gosh, that sounds horrible! Carmine can’t go to war and Rosine can’t go to royalty! It’ll be imPAWssible for you to evfurr see them again!” She exclaimed, putting emphasis on words with ‘r’ by making a purring sound.

“I know.” I said miserably, laying my head down on the table.

“Do not worry Demine. We will make sure that you are not lonely. You can positively call on us whenever you require assistance in your day to day life or otherwise emotional comfort or even moirail guidance, of which I can provide.” Kankri said supportingly.

“Yeah dude! We’ll like, always be here for you! You’re super rad and it’s hard to see you down like this man!” Latula chimed in.

“Yeah Demine! Cheer up! Things will get better.” Mituna said with his lisp, flashing his toothy smile my way. “My biclops lusus and I wouldn’t mind if you stayed in our hive.”

“You can always stay with my meowbeast lusus and me in our cave!” Meulin purred.

“Porrim is not as debauched as she makes out to be, and you are more than welcome to reside in our hive for as long as you desire.” Kankri smiled.

“Yeah! I live alone, rad right? You could totally come over, I could come over. Pop in anytime dude!” Latula grinned.

“You guys. . .” I sniffled and hid my eyes behind my arm.

“Aw, Catmint!” Meulin said affectionately, pulling me into her arms. “Don’t cry, we all love you very much.”

I wrapped my arms around her sides and buried my face into her olive sweater. It was soft, not itchy like how many sweaters are. Her hands found my back and they rubbed it softly, comforting me.

“It seems that I must take my leave. Please do not do anything reckless Demine.” Kankri announced, standing up.

“Yeah. Me and Tulip need to go too.” Mituna said.

“We’re going skateboarding! Wanna come with us?” Latula asked, grinning.

“You guys go ahead. I’ll join you some other time.” I smiled politely. “Besides, I should really go home.” I pulled away from Meulin and stood up from the ground, dusting off my pants.

“I’ll come with you.” Meulin stood up too and took my hand, using her free one to pull down her skirt as the others walked away to go about their business.

“Thanks.” I said gratefully.

While we were walking back to the shack, Meulin kept glancing at my necklace. It was only a piece of string with a metal cancer charm hanging at the end. Eventually, she reached over and fingered the outline of it.

“Where did this come from?” She asked.

“One of the Signless’s followers gave it to Carmine, but then he gave it to me.”

“Why?” She looked up at me.

“He’s supposedly an identical copy of the Signless, so people expect him to help them through the war. Little do they know, he’s actually going to fight instead of speaking.”

“I think it’s horrible that he is going to fight.”

I scoffed and opened the front door.

“Meulin, you just wouldn’t understand him. No one does.”

“I understand you though.” She smiled. “Bye Demine.”

“Bye Meulin.” I mumbled hurrying into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank the guest that left kudos!


	3. Help, I'm Drowning

The next few weeks went by too fast.

Carmine went off to join the army.

Rosine took the meowbeast with her to meet with The Grand Highblood, and never came back.

Kankri and Porrim moved.

Mituna and Latula became matesprits.

Meenah moved in the castle under the sea due to Her Imperious Condescension’s death.

And Meulin moved in with me.

That was about the only good thing that happened that perigee. Meulin was delightful and reminded me so much of Disciple that I would often forget the troll was dead. Sometimes we would draw in her shipping book of any possible ships, including the chances of her and her flush crush Kurloz. I didn’t know much about him, but based on the way that she talked about him, he must’ve been amazing.

“What about you Demine? Are you flushed for anyone?” She purred.

“Not really.” I shrugged.

“Too bad! I’m pairing you up with Kankri as a kismesis.”

As she proceeded to draw our faces with the spades between them, I sighed. The truth was, that I was really flushed for Meulin, but also not flushed for her. I avoided pairing us up in any quadrant to not have to confess my feelings. Meulin did mention it, but then she laughed at the idea. My hopes were shattered even further when she admitted that she was flushed for another.

I never got a break.

One night, it was scorching hot outside. Not even the gentle breeze alleviated the uncomfortableness the heat brought, so we were trapped inside with nothing to do. I was sprawled on the couch shirtless while Meulin was on the floor with her sweater thrown into a corner. The high temperature had even penetrated the thick walls of the shack and made it hard to sleep a wink.

There was a noise outside and we both groaned. It was most likely a beast trying to find a place to cool off before the heat killed it. The sound of clothes being pulled off of the clothesline was the last straw. I picked up Carmine’s sickle (he had left it so I would have a chance of surviving alone) and threw the door open.

“Get outta here you—“ I paused and stared at the big and burly trolls destroying our yard.

They stopped their pilfering and glared at me with menacing different shades of purple. I stumbled backwards and fell onto my ass.

“Demine, what’s--?” Meulin walked over and stared at the trolls as well. “Oh. . .”

“Well now, I had a feeling we would find some fun tonight.” One of them growled.

I scrambled up and took an awkward fighting stance. “Come at me.” I hissed.

“Demine, stop! You’ll get hurt.” Meulin grabbed my arm and held me back.

“Isn’t that cute?” They howled with laughter as the biggest of the brutes stepped forward and the others backed up to give us space. “Let him fight.”

“I got this Meulin.” I growled, shaking her grip free. “Just go.”

She ran out to the side and stared at me. “Demine, please be safe!” She said, hurrying away with her sweater flying behind her like a flag.

I tightened my grip on the handle of Carmine’s sickle and stood up straight, glaring at the huge subjugglator dead in his eyes. I knew I wouldn’t win. In fact, I was positive that my corpse would be hung in the city for display and that my blood would be used to draw on the walls to depict pictures of the Mirthful Messiahs. He was holding a log in his hand. A log. _A god damn log_.

Boy can I kiss my head goodbye.

“Mother Grub.” I grumbled under my breath.

He took a step forward, waving the log back and forth to intimidate me. His buddies cheered him on loudly, some of them even cheered for me. I breathed in deeply and I took a darting leap at his legs, managing to cut his pants and a bit of his skin. I took no time to revel in my accomplishment as I kept darting in between his legs and cutting them. He roared in anger and swung his weapon around, but it never came in contact with me. I was feeling lucky, so I leapt in air and aimed for his head, but the bastard was quicker and slung his fist into my side, knocking me through the wall of my hive.

I could just barely hear him being congratulated by his friends as I laid stunned in the debris. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing, my back was numb and my chest hurt. Energy crackled around me in annoyance as I used my psionics to lift me up and onto my feet. I picked my way through wood and stray nails until I was back outside to face the lavender blooded troll. Blood collected on a gash at the edge of my head and they all stopped their laughing. They actually looked more terrified and began to talk nervously as the big troll raised his weapon once more. I barely flared out my psionics when the log burst into tiny pieces of wood. Now it was his turn to stumble backwards and fall down. The energy started tearing up the ground around me in anger, and I could tell that I would lose control soon. Half of their pack had already hightailed away, but the other half was advancing on me to support their leader (I figured he was, he was strongest).

“You’re dead you mutant little fucker.” The troll growled.

Before he could even back up his threat, all of them paused. They didn’t move, and they hardly breathed. Their eyes all went the same shade of purple as they parted into two separate lines. I stared at them in shock, letting my eyes settle on a really tall troll making his way through the lines towards me. His eyes were the same color, but he had freedom.

He must be the puppet master.

I prepared myself to attack him, but then a body ran past me, knocking me over on the ground with a squeal.

“Kurloz!” Meulin practically screamed, throwing herself at him. “You came just in time!”

 _Hello, I’m bleeding over here_!

“I’m sorry for my late appearance, I hope I’m not too late for our date.” Kurloz replied.

My battleship crashed. It crashed and burned and there are no survivors of my chances with Meulin. They’re all dead. Either drowned or blasted into tiny bits that the cuttlefish are happily enjoying. Woe is me. _Woe is fucking me_.

I cleared my throat, but they blatantly ignored me. I sat on the ground and crossed my arms, turning my back to them. Attention passengers, you are all dead. The captain of this ship is hopeless, pathetic, and—

“Kurloz, this my best friend Demine.”

\--Utterly friend-zoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna take the time out for loyal readers to know how much I appreciate them reading my work. (If you do!) Thanks a lot guys!


	4. Troll's Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really really REALLY excited about this!! Soon I'm going to post some pictures/comics with Demine in them and even a picture of Rosine and Carmine :3

The shack was destroyed.

We had no more clothes.

We were just ransacked.

But no, this is the perfect time to leave a seriously injured troll alone to do repairs on himself and on the hive.

He can handle himself.

I wrapped gauze around my forehead in an attempt to stop the bleeding, and then I wrapped some gauze around my torso to see if its healing properties would hold me together. Gauze is the answer for everything. It’s all we have.

The silence was nerve-wracking, and I kept jumping at every sound. Being alone was dangerous in the middle of the night. Predators could pick you up from where you stood. I didn’t want to just stand around for that to happen though, so I found Disciple’s old record player and dusted it off. Surprisingly, it was unfazed by my body crashing the hive. I set it on a table and wound it up, placed a record disc on it, and moved the needle to the edge of the disc. It crackled a bit before playing the song.

_I hate a moral coward; one who lacks a manly spark_

_I just detest a man afraid to go home in the dark_

I grinned slightly and started to clean up with the beat of the music.

“I’m a member of the midnight crew. I’m a night owl and a wise bird too.” I sang softly. “Home with the milk in the morning, singing the same old song.”

“Rise with the moon go to bed with the sun.” Suriah sang as she helped with clearing up the debris. “Early to bed and you’ll miss all the fun.”

“Bring your wife and trouble; it will never trouble you. Make her a member of the midnight crew!” We sang together. “Wa waa wa-wa-wa wa wa-wa wa waa”

In no time, everything was up and stacked into a pile. There was no salvaging the hive now. A whole wall was missing and the opposite wall was ready to cave in. We would have no choice but to move into another hive, and who knows how long that would take? Suriah left as quickly as she came, leaving me alone once more with just the music playing in the background. The sun was starting to rise slowly, casting an orange glow over everything. I watched it from out of the corner of my eye before going to gather the things I needed for our trip. I made a checklist as I went off.

Sickle. Check.

Water jug. Check.

Berry pouch. Check.

Medicine pouch. Check.

Howlbeast pup following me around. Check.

Wait, what?

I did a double-take and looked at the baby Howlbeast. The poor thing was tiny, but his fur pattern suggested it was older than it looked. He was skinny, starved even. His eyes were an unnerving blue and his fur was pure white. Howlbeasts don’t look like this. Not even when they’re pups. I knelt down and patted the floor in front of me.

“You’re a little mutant.” I murmured. “And a runt. You shouldn’t be so far away from your pack little guy.” I smiled as he bounded up to me and walked around in happy circles with his tail wagging fast, trying to lick and rub on my hands at the same time.

Meulin didn’t like Woofbeasts or Howlbeasts. She said they were always a bad thing that her lusus warned her to avoid. I didn’t see what the fuss was about. “Dogs”, as the highbloods call them, are the most loyal creatures you could find. If you trained it right, it could be the best dog around and it would never leave your side.

“Do you want to come with us?” I asked.

He stopped and looked up at me with those blue eyes when I spoke.

“Do you have a name?” I asked again, amused.

He tried climbing into my lap, so I picked him up and shifted so that he could sit on my thighs. Instead of sitting still, he turned around to face me and put a paw on my lips. I blinked and watched him. He blinked and watched me. I moved his paw from my mouth and placed him back on the ground before standing back up.

“Come if you want, but I’m not going to baby you.” I said, sitting in a chair to wait for Meulin to return.

Minutes turned into hours.

Hours turned into days.

Days turned into weeks.

 Still Meulin did not return. The pup stayed around with me, giving me comfort and catching small rats. I taught him simple commands like “sit” and “stay” to the point where all I had to do was give him a look and he would know whether to sit or stay. He would guard the wreck of a hive while I went out hunting, and I would wait patiently for him to come back from his explorations. We spent the days in what shade we could find, and the nights out under the stars. When it rained, it was a time to play around, and when it was windy we stood and let the wind caress our weather worn bodies. My clothes were becoming tattered and worn out, so I took time to learn how to use the deadly object called the needle. It was slow work, but soon enough I repaired a pair of pants and a shirt. I used the leftover scraps to make Signless, as I have started to call him, a cloth collar. He didn’t mind, but I would have to constantly adjust it as he got bigger.

It had been a whole perigee.

I stared at the house; the place where I grew up. A chilly wind blew and sent us into shivers.

“Well Signless,” I said, “it’s time to go.”

He looked at me confusedly and let out a small whine.

“It’s going to be cold soon, so we need to move to someplace warmer.” I continued. “We have to start heading south.” I patted his head and took a few steps in the direction of the city. “But first, we need to get some warmer clothes or at least a cloak.”

He followed my gaze to the city and sat down indignantly.

“You can stay. I won’t be gone for more than a few days.” I said as I started walking.

Signless let out a loud whine and then a howl before running after me.

*             *             *             *

We entered from the poorest part of town and kept to the shadows. I would stick out like a sore thumb amongst these trolls with my hornless head, and Signless would stick out from the other dogs lingering around. I made him sit in a back alley while I ran across the street into a sad looking clothing store. There were a few plain black shirts and some pants hanging up. I stood at the counter and smiled at the gawking cashier.

“I need two cloaks please.” I requested.

It took her a moment to register what I said before she disappeared behind a curtain. Those passing by the store stopped and stared through the window, and soon a crowd had gathered. The cashier was now back and handed them to me. I reached in my pocket for some money to give her.

“Oh no dearie, those are free.” She smiled.

“Thank you.” I smiled back and turned to leave, but she stopped me.

“Wait, can I ask you something young man?” She said hesitantly.

“Sure.”

“Do you know who Desixe Byrone is?”

“She’s my mother.” I answered warily. “She died when I was laid.”

The troll gasped and threw her arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Then the rumors are true.” She whispered.

“Rumors?” I was shocked by her sudden show of affection.

“The Grand Highblood was killed by the only daughter of Desixe, but not without a cost.” She said gravely. “The young troll paid with her life.”

I shook my head and pushed her away gently.

“Thank you for the cloaks ma’am.” I said tersely, hurrying out of the shop.

The crowd parted for me, watching me with an eerie silence. I didn’t look at any of them as I took the long way back to where Signless was waiting for me.

Signless greeted me happily and ran over. I looked down at him in defeat and shook my head, kneeling down to tie the cloak around his neck. I pulled the holes for horns over his ears, going as far as to rip them to make them fit, before tying my own cloak on. We made our way out of town and headed south.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank the guest that left kudos on this work!


	5. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry cx But this was for a friend to explain some stuff and hopefully clear up Demine's powers. They're basically like Sollux's, but they're more dark like Rose's dark wizard buddies.

_“No!”_

_I ran into the house and tackled Rosine to the ground, grabbing at her hair as she clawed at my face._

_“You killed her! It was you! I know you did it!” I screamed, raking my claws down her face._

_She shrieked in pain and could only hold her arms up in a vain attempt to protect herself._

_“I’m going to kill you!” I growled. “I’m going to kill you!”_

_“Demine!” Disciple shouted, running over and prying me off of Rosine. “Demine what has gotten into you!?”_

_“Rosine killed the hoofbeast! She killed my best friend and she knows she did!” I hurled myself at Rosine’s cowering figure, but Disciple kept her vice-like grip on me. “I’m going to kill her Disciple! Rosine knew that I loved that hoofbeast like a matesprit!”_

_Disciple dragged me outside as I spat curses and flailed in a failed effort to free myself. She pinned me down to the ground and stared down at me. I slowly began to calm down, letting out frustrated sobs and groans of agony. My body laid limp on the ground even when she got up and rushed back into the house to tend to Rosine. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. It was a few hours before I woke up, realizing that I had passed out._

_I was still outside._

_Carmine was sitting a few feet away from me, watching me as I sat up and rubbed the dry tears from eyes. He was thinking really hard. I could tell because whenever something is really difficult (for example, moi), it takes a lot of thinking to solve._

_“What was her name?” He murmured softly, inching closer to me._

_“Maplehoof.” I grumbled. “She was all white and always had this silly pink bow on.” My expression softened slightly. “I never knew where she came from. I think she came from aliens.”_

_Carmine chuckled._

_“She was really dainty too.” I continued, knowing he hadn’t asked for a life story, but feeling better talking about the deceased mare. “And a bit off her rocker. She would do weird things for no reason, but it made me happy. She also never let me ride her and only accepted my petting when I complimented her while doing so."_

_"What happened today?” He pressed._

_“I was on my way to her meadow.” I started, feeling my bloodpusher clench. “I had a few cookies I wanted to give her. She loves cookies, the spoiled girl.” I gave a half-hearted laugh. “I called for her. Normally she would come hopping along, but she was nowhere in sight.” I pinched my eyes shut. “She was gasping for air near the far end of the field. There was purple blood on her hooves, so I know she had to have fought a purple blooded troll.” I could feel Carmine’s arms wrap around me, drawing me in closer. “Rosine did it! She hated Maplehoof from the very first time I told you guys about her!” I wailed, burying my face in his chest._

_“C’mon Demine, you’re 6 sweeps...” Carmine murmured. “I know it’s hard, but you have to stick out your chest and bear through it.”_

_“You tell me that when you’ve found love. We’ll see what you say then.” I replied sourly._

_*             *             *             *_

_“Have you seen Disciple?” I asked Carmine, holding a ball made out of grass in my hands._

_“No—what’s that?” He picked it up gently._

_“A sorry gift!” I beamed. “I made it myself.”_

_“It’s amazing.” He purred, patting my head._

_I took it back from him carefully and ran outside._

_“Disciple!” I called._

_“She went hunting.” Rosine spat._

_I hissed at her before running out into the woods with the meowbeast running after me. We zigzagged through the undergrowth, heading towards the spot where Disciple normally hunted. The spot was near a cliff that had a long free-fall to stone ground. She would chase the animals over the edge and then collect their bodies. Often, she would take Carmine or Rosine to gain some experience, and she would let me tag along sometimes._

_The meowbeast stopped abruptly and looked ahead with his ears pointed forward. I stopped too and watched him. He looked up at me and meowed loudly, taking a few hesitant steps forward then back. I knelt down and picked him up in my arms, holding him close. Together, we walked and then I heard it. It was the sound of a big Meowbeast roaring and growling. There also seemed to be a younger Meowbeast (or at least smaller) hissing and growling back. Excitedly, I ran to the sounds and hid into a bush._

_“Ok, stay quiet.” I murmured to him when he tried to growl._

_I snaked my hands forward and parted the bushes to get a view of the beasts in battle._

_It was Disciple._

_And a mountain meowbeast._

_It was forcing her back towards the edge of the cliff._

_The both of them had deep battle wounds that would leave scars to whoever survived. At the moment, it looked like Disciple would win as she lunged at the beast with her claw weapon outstretched. It stood up on its hind legs in a turn of events and swatted her away. She slid across the ground and fell over the edge, but grabbed the side and scrabbled to get up. She couldn’t get up and the meowbeast was advancing on her._

_“Disciple!” I shouted, running out and dropping everything in my hands._

_“Demine!?” She screamed in surprise. “No! Run away!”_

_I launched myself at the animal, but it swiveled around and hit at me with its powerful paws. Pinching my eyes shut, my psionics forced themselves out of my mind and grabbed the paw before it made contact with my body. I landed in front of it on my face and the energy closed around its paw, breaking it beyond recognition. The beast roared in pain, stumbling back confusedly._

_I tried to sit up, but now the psionics were getting out control. They leaked from my eyes and fingertips, cracking the ground and uprooting nearby trees. Disciple screamed when they picked her up, thrashing around. I knew I had no control over them, but still I tried._

_I tried to stop them from lifting her higher into the air._

_I tried to stop them from choking her._

_I tried to stop them._

_I tried._

_But they did what they wanted._

_They toyed with her as I screamed and cried._

_I begged them._

_For once!_

**_Please stop!_ **

_Blackness._

_Bleeding eyes._

_Blackness._

_Angry face._

_Blackness._

_Carmine crying._

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._


	6. In which I can't find a title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the inactivity for the past....WHATEVER amount of days.

A few weeks passed by.

They were uneventful, boring, and emotionally hard.

Ever since I was grub I had wanted Rosine dead, but now that she was _actually dead_ it wasn’t sitting well in my consciousness or my gut. Signless tried to cheer me up as we went along, but it didn’t help. Images of her face kept flashing across my mind, bringing with it fresh tears to my already puffy eyes. I couldn’t fend for myself and I would often go for days without food and water. It was Signless that looked after me and made me take in what I needed to survive when I got too weak.

The nights were even worse.

The nightmares, the screams.

I would think that I have dreamt all of the possible ways she could’ve die, but then my dreams prove me wrong and come up with something new. They never let me wake up and I would be forced to watch Rosine be brutally impaled, beaten to death, drown, bled, etc. You name it. I’ve been close to seeing it all, but I never got any better. Signless then decided that things had to change. Either that or he got tired of my bullshit because one day he left.

He ran off into the wasteland and didn’t come back for perigees.

I stayed in a nearby tree, right in the branches. I ate the nuts and berries that grew around it and drank from a river. Abandoned, I had lost my resolve to move forward without him.

The sun was setting.

Frogs and crickets sang out their songs while I climbed up my tree, dreading the night to come. When I made it to my spot, I nestled on the bark and curled up tightly. There were no furs or blankets to keep me warm as the cold winter wind finally caught up, but it didn’t bother me. I closed my eyes and hesitantly sank down into the deathly sleep.

*             *             *             *

_It was white all around._

_I turned left and then right, looked up and then down._

_“Hello?” I called out._

_“Hello?” Came back my echo._

_Confused and curious, I began to walk. As I walked, bubbles floated by. They were around my height and contained landscapes of many varieties. Although, one caught my interest. Inside of the bubble was a female troll with long hair and sharp, straight horns. Her eyes seemed to have no color at a glance, but looking closely in them I saw intricate patterns of black, dark grey, and shades of a lighter grey. She was in a breath-taking black gown with grey spirals, being escorted by another troll, male, in a burgundy suit. It looked rather odd on him. He didn’t seem like the kind of troll to wear fancy clothes, let alone hang out with a troll of high status in a ballroom. They were both enjoying themselves, making their way through the crowd of drunk highbloods._

_I leaned forward to get a closer look, but then found myself standing in the center of the crowd as the couple retreated to the balcony. I followed, but let them have their “privacy” as I watched from behind a curtain. Other dancing trolls gave me weird looks, but I didn’t pay them attention. My focus was on the Blackblood._

_“Aren’t you supposed to be mingling?” The male troll looked over at the vast garden in front of the ballroom with a silent awe._

_“I am. I’m mingling with you.” The female reached over and grabbed his hand._

_He threw her a confused look but then quickly snatched his hand away when she dug her nails into his skin. He held his hand out of sight but then she seized it again, looking at the tiny candy red blood droplets beginning to peek from the small punctures. I widened my eyes and finally realized who they both were._

_“Let me go!” My father yanked his hand away and fell against the rail._

_My mother smiled at him when he fell back. “That’s really beautiful. Red like that is very passionate.”_

_“Please ask the next time you do that.” He sighed._

_She laughed lightly and leaned forward on him, smiling slyly. His cheeks turned a deep shade of red and she smirked, bringing her face closer to his. I quickly looked away with my face burning a bright grey, gripping the curtain for my life. Now I was extremely positive that that troll was my mother._

_I felt like a pervert._

_“Hey there, care to dance?”_

_I looked over at the owner of the voice and widened my eyes to see a Violetblood offering his hand out to me. He had his hair greased back in waves and fins were on the side of his face. Nervously, I placed my hand in his and nodded. He swept me out of my protection and pulled me to the middle of the ballroom floor. With a nod to the troll in charge of the music, he placed a hand on my hip and the other in my hand._

_“I’m sorry.” I sputtered helplessly. “I don’t know how to dance…”_

_“Don’t worry, I got you.” He crooned with his sea dweller accent. “Just follow my lead.”_

_And with that, he slowly took me around the circle to the soft music playing. He was humming along, watching me stumble and curse as I kept stepping on his feet in a vain attempt to keep up. The song ended when Kurloz came over the mic. By then, I had resorted to laying my forehead on the side of his neck and swaying with the beat of the music._

_“Sea mate? It’s easy.” He murmured._

*             *             *             *

“Come on dog, help me pick ‘em up.”

I kept my eyes closed, wanting to stay in the dream with the sea troll. He smelled faintly like the ocean, and it only raised my infatuation with him. His accent was completely overlooked and I loved him. It was a Maplehoof love, a Signless love, a Disciple love. I scrabbled to hold onto the dream, and smiled softly. This was the first good dream I’ve had. Feelings like that were only in my head after all.

“Easy, easy there. I’m only tryin’ to help him. Sea?”

I felt a hard surface on my back.

“You watch him while I get some medicine for ‘em.”

I slowly peeked open my eye to see a troll stand up and pat Signless’s head. His fur was puffed up slightly, but he didn’t make a move to hurt the troll. I smiled softly and weakly reached over to touch his paw with my finger, feeling the soft fur on my skin. He jumped up and then on me, licking my face while I helplessly got assaulted.

“Aye!” The troll shouted, wrapping his arms around Signless before tossing him off with ease. “The kid is goin’ to break if you do that!”

Signless landed flawlessly on his paws before swirling around to face him with a snarl.

“Listen _mutt_ ,” the troll hissed, “it’s either you listen to me or I won’t help the kid.”

I pinched my eyes shut and sat up, almost falling back if it weren’t for the troll rushing down to my side. His hands supported me as I sat up, rubbing my back gently.

“Easy mate.” He murmured, bringing his face down to my eye level. “You’re really sick and weak. You need to take it easy or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“I…” I rubbed my eyes but stopped in mid-rub.

I stared down at my skeleton hands and at the bony remnants of what used to be my fingers and slowly took a look at my body. My clothes were hanging off of my frame like a blanket. When I lifted my shirt up, my stomach was caved in and there was nothing but my ribs left. I looked up at Signless who looked guiltily away, flattening his ears. The troll gave a sigh and stood back up, leaving the place where we were hidden.

“Don’t move, don’t leave, don’t eat, and don’t drink. I’ll be back in a few hours, so hang tight. Dog, watch him.” He commanded.

We stared at him at his sudden change in tone as his shirt disappears. Slowly I laid back down and sighed, running a hand through my hair. Signless trotted over to me and positioned himself beside me, laying his head on my chest gently. Up close, his ears were torn and there was a scar over his right eye. It made him look older, which he was.

“Signless, how long were you gone?” I rasped, placing my hand on his head.

He woofed softly in response.

We laid there for an hour, listening to the wind outside. He got up once to bring me some snow, verifying my fears. The troll had unintentionally brought me to my death. Speaking of the devil, the bastard came back with a small bag in one hand and rabbit in the other.

“Aye, I’ve never seen so much blood in my fuckin’ life!” He exclaimed. “These damn beasts are bloodier than fish.” He walked over to me and sat down, moving Signless away. “I heard you land trolls like ‘em with the red blood. Anyway, I got ya some stuff to keep livin’.” He reached in the bag and started pulling stuff out, naming them. “Fresh water, soap, matches, fish oil, bandages, some alcohol stuff that fizzes, and some new clothes.”

“Aren’t you going to cull me?” I murmured, watching him the whole time.

“Now why the fuck would I do that?” He glanced at me and then quickly shook his head, looking at the outside. “My ship is leavin’ in a perigee, and you’re comin’ with me. You have one, I’ll repeat it again, _one_ perigee to get better or I’m leavin’.” He grumbled.

“I can’t thank you enough.” I smiled slightly, catching his eye.

“Yeah, well don’t.” He mumbled, taking out a packet of pills. “I forgot, this thing too. It’ll help you with energy or whatever.” He placed the packet and a bottle of water by my side before standing up again. “I’m going to get wood.”

“Impossible.”

“I’ll be an hour.”

“Oh.” I looked away, thinking how hard it must be to walk back and forth through the snow.

As he was about to set foot out of the cave (I guess that’s what it was) I called out. “What’s your name?”

He hesitated as if he weren’t going to tell me.

“I’m Demine.” I offered.

“Cronus.” He flashed me a grin and took a cigarette out of his pocket, sticking it between his teeth. “Cronus Ampora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see (and hopefully remember) the scene for Demine's dream is part of chapter 2 of Black is a Color too. Also, great news! I am slowly uploading small comics I've drawn for Game of Life on my Google+ account. I'm open to any fanart (of which my friend has drawn and made to look AWESOME c:) Anyway, sorry for the wait. I've been working on some other fanfiction and an original work. Also, school is crazy.  
> Ps! Check out this amazing fanfiction called "Real Men Wear Tights" by Bananasramses and SergeantMeow. Their work is really awesome and so is the art accompanying it!


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